Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
