Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
