everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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