Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
