would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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