Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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