I feel like abortions should bother me more
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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