Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
