He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
