I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
