he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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