Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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