I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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