Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
