oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
