My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
