omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
