C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
This is not my ceiling
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
