he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
