Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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