ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
