Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
