literally had 100 drinks last night.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
