Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
