Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
