she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
