i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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