He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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