if you like me you must not know who I am
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
