But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
