Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
