The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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