I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
