smell my finger.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize
