You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
