Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
