Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
