ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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