I just pynch a tree in the face
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
