I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
