i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
