So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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