We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Is it because I queefed?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
