so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
