I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
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