Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Randomize
