somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
