ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
that is very illegal...i love you.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
