marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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