The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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