What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
