I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
