super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
you didnt know i had herpes?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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