So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
